[CaptainYooh]

I lost my mother in 2014. She fought cancer for three years, but cancer had won. She wasn't very old, 77. When it came back, two years after the first surgery, we knew that she was not going to live long; it took nine months. Last couple of months were really bad; she was in a delirium state a lot, because of all of the painkillers, and hardly recognized people around her. She always liked when I brought my kids with me to visit her. I did take her out in a wheelchair when the days were nice, so that she could enjoy some sun. She liked that. At some point, spending hours at the hospital every day started feeling like a chore, but now I wish I'd just taken a couple of months off work and spent more time with her. I was not at her bedside when she actually passed away. I had a meeting that morning and arrived an hour after it happened. I still can't forgive myself for that fully. I thought I was mentally prepared for THAT day to come, but I wasn't. There has not been a day since when I did not think of her at least once...

Tell your Dad how much you love him, ask him to tell you stories. Mom told me some stories of her youth that she had never told me before, ever. Tell him funny stuff about you, your kids, your work. Ask him to give you some advice, even if it's trivial. Keep in mind, it might be difficult for him to talk. It was for my Mom, so she wanted me to talk.

There was not much of an estate left, so we did not have to worry about that part. Ask your Dad if he wants some of his things to be given to someone specific; write it down and do it for him.

I did ask Mom how she'd like her funeral arranged but she did not like discussing it at all, so I stopped bringing that up. This is individual for everyone, so no advice here. Some people see death as a normal part of life and don't think too much of it at all. My mother was a 100% atheist and never really thought much of the religious aspects of death.

Anyway, this is not going to be easy, bc-chris, and "be strong" is a useless platitude. Passing of a parent leaves a huge hole in one's heart. If you're a spiritual person, try talking to your spiritual advisor regularly. If not, talk to any priest in your local church; it does help a little bit, actually.

I am very sorry, man.