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I'm getting a bit old for the park (39), but I still have enough jam in me to hit the pipe and show my kids what's what in there.
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This is the most quintessential "almost middle aged white guy trying to convince himself he's still cool" statement I think I've ever read. Well played.
Anyway, the short wait for the chair thing is huge for them, because I would have assumed a decent wait. So that's good. I see COP as a very poor stand-in for the local hills when I was in Vancouver... ~20 minutes from downtown, open at night after work, so you get some turns in when you don't have the time to drive the hour and a bit to Whistler. The downside there, though, is the lift lines, which are soul-crushing. Those hills just go completely over capacity. It's crowded like nothing anyone who's been here their whole lives has ever experienced.
But even if you're getting a lot of laps at COP, aren't they like 20 second laps? What they have to offer seems to me like it eliminates the point for anyone who isn't just learning. I feel like if I went there all I'd end up doing is short turns to try to burn my legs up and extend the time it takes to get back to the chair, and at that point you might as well just be in the gym doing leg press.