Quote:
Originally Posted by wittynickname
First of all, condolences for your loss. Commonality doesn't make this any easier to handle.
But I cannot express enough the importance of the comments above about getting help if you need it. My mom had a miscarriage in the late 70s, 10 weeks in, and she was absolutely crushed by it. Of course this was the late 70s so support resources weren't then what they are now, they basically gave her some sedatives and that was it. 40 years later, every year when mid-October rolls around and the anniversary of her miscarriage gets close, my mom goes into a deep depression. She never handled it in the first place, and I feel like it will likely haunt her forever.
So make sure that you and your wife both get any support that you need for this. This was not her fault (nor yours), this is a horribly sad thing that unfortunately just happens sometimes. Take care of yourself, but keep a close eye on her as well.
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Just to build on this, the men in these situations have a lot to shoulder. They have to deal with their own grief
and also be a source of support for their spouses who are (understandably) going through the experience in a much more personal way. So as witty wisely said, take care of yourself (so you can be a better support for her as well).