[To Be Quite Honest]

Well, it's 10:30 and I haven't been "drunk" for 6 months. Tonight, is the night...

I got back from visiting my Aunt who is suffering for Alzheimer's disease. The visit was hard, rewarding, fun, depressing, difficult, and fantastic (in how her whole mood changes from start to finish). I arrived there to the ward when people are eating, my Aunt had finished and she was just staring at the wall. Her look was defeated ,and depressed... I selfishly thought to myself, oh no, I'm in for it today. I put my head down and approached her. I lightly put my hand on her shoulder and she looked up. I could she the recognition process begin and then the the tears. I'm trying to visit 2 times a week, as of the first of this month, but it hasn't worked out. This is only my second visit. You see my Aunt was always a strong independent woman and she was smart. So quick. However, she never found a guy, or well she never shared that part of her life. So as a kid I thought she was like a nun... lol She has no kids, and only a niece and 3 nephews and her 2 brothers and one sister in law, my mother. So she's been alone most of her life... But those tears came. I never new my Aunt as an emotional woman. However, Alzheimer's disease is one scarey disease and I don't blame anyone for crying or being afraid. So I told her that we're going out and I'm going to get her some Elvis.

"Elvis! Oh I love Elvis!"
"Ya, I heard."

So she literally downed her apple juice and off we went. This wasn't going to be a quick visit so I thought we'd walk and take the train. That's more fun then a car or taxi. So we walked to the train and I'm holding her hand the whole way. She's at the stage where she repeats herself every 30 seconds. I can manipulate her thought process a little because I'm trying to get her thinking positive, but it takes time... So I just answer her questions and tell her how wonderful she is over and over. It's not really a chore because she stops walking and needs to give me hugs every minute... Really, every minute. So we're giving each other love the whole visit even though I'm the only one who remembers it.

I'm taking her to Future Shop to buy an mp3 player, some speakers and some head phones. We walk past a DQ and she gets all excited.

"Can I have some Ice Cream!"
"Of course we can have some Ice Cream, but let's get it on our way back. A treat for all this walking"

Well, she didn't forget about the ice cream. Funny how that is.

At futureshop we talk to the rep and they don't have ANYTHING that I need. I want to set up the system so that when she turns on the speakers the music plays so I need specific items... But I ordered the speakers so that we could walk together back in a few days. I started paying for the speakers and behind me I hear some singing."

You ain't nothing but a hound dog. Crying all the time... and something something about arithmetic..."

She's singing Elvis and I can't help because that's so not my music... lol So she repeats it over and over and I try to sing along... So funny.

We get to the DQ and we order 2 medium dipped cones.

"8$ please"
Aunt "IS that how much it is!"
"Yes, but we want ice cream and we get ice cream."
"It's too much!"
In my head I'm thinking your damn right! How can a business stay open charging this much for ice cream!
"Auntie, it's ice cream, and I just want you to smile because I love you, and I want you happy."

We hug as the dude holds the cones.

Once we finish there is a big difference in her demeanor. She still doesn't remember much that happened but she's smiling and not talking about how horrible the place she's in is. I know she can't make new memories, but I know that if I can word things so that the pleasant hormones flow she will feel better. And if I continue seeing her and do this then these hormones stick around more and then life won't be so bad for her... I don't know why I'm sharing this... Well, I'm 4 beers deep... and getting my 5th... I guess I'm just needing to get it out and share. I hope it's not a big downer for you.

*My Aunt lived in Edmonton for 20 years so she was an Oiler Fan. I told her, "I'm part of a hockey nerd forum and we wanted to send a CPer to Edmonton to an Oiler dinner to thank Kevin Lowe for his years of service." She laughed pretty good at that. She's been sick for at least 6 years we think and her response was and I quote, "The Oilers are terrible." HA ha ha "Not much has changed Auntie!"