Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire of the Phoenix
Hate my job but I am trapped by family/responsibility/mortgage. I used to like it a lot, been doing it for over a decade but now I am burnt out and I want a change unfortunately I'm not in a position to go back to school (see family/responsibility/mortgage). The same position with another company would net me 75% of what I make now, just not enough as I'm leveraged to the tits. The company I am with is basically falling apart at the seams before my eyes due to totally inept upper management and I'm on the front lines getting raked over the coals, answering for #### I have no control over.
Every day for the last two years has been worse than the last. I feel like the guy off office space, only more stressed and with much more to lose. It's driving me to alcohol in a bad way too, especially over the last two years. Used to drink maybe once a month, now I'm soused 2-4 times a week. I've also put on about 40 lbs in 2 years and lost most of my hair. My wedding picture I literally looked like a young Bruce Wayne, I am not kidding... now i'm like a fatter, balder Mr. Incredible 
So, no, I am not happy with my career. At all. Life and career do tend to blend, so maybe it's both, it's getting increasingly hard to tell.
That felt great to type out and yes, I am drunk right now. |
It sounds to me like you really need to stop, back away, and make some big decisions. You're swimming out to sea with no destination in mind, thinking "if only I can make it another day" and all the while only getting farther from shore and into more danger. You can always swim for one more day - until you can't...
If things are as bad as you describe and you're sliding towards alcohol dependency, you're not doing your family any favours: nobody wants a martyr for a husband/father. Without your health you've got nothing, and there's no doubt your feelings and stress are impacting your family and other relationships on a daily basis.
At the risk of overstepping the bounds of appropriate anonymous internet-forum advice, I'm going to suggest you try a couple of counselling sessions (of the psychological and/or career kind) before you hit what appears to be a nearing crisis. It's not much help getting guidance once the crisis hits (either you have a physical or mental breakdown or the company you work for goes bust and you're out of work despite all your perseverance over the past couple of years). In my work I see a lot of tough, independent, responsible guys who struggle mightily and independently for years until, eventually, they just can't anymore. And at that point, it's not a quick fix - it's more like watching the first domino fall.
Since you've already identified a problem, best to get out in front of it before it becomes fully realized. You may find an outside perspective valuable when it comes to building a plan to avert trouble. Whatever you do, it sounds like you know you're on a train to nowhere. Find a way to get off it.