[CaptainCrunch]

I wanted to bump this up, just so I can maybe continue to guide people through this journey, and maybe there's one thing here that can help anyone else struggling with this.

With the overall cost of my parents in a private facility being about $14,000 per month, the burn rate is incredible. The goal is still to get my mom into a public space, which while not free, really only costs us about the amount of her pension benefits plus a little bit.

The other thing that we did was start exploring public spaces that were close to my Dad that made more economic sense, plus it was about more then the money.

I noticed in the facility that my Dad is they really don't have a lot of activities and programs that people participate in. They do have card games and movie nights and some other things, but because the people on the assisted living side aren't super high functioning participation just isn't there, must people just sit all day or sit in their rooms and watch TV. Even when they gather, there aren't alot of active conversations. And my Dad for all of his issues and his advanced age, is fairly high functional.

So we found a facility close by at about half the cost because the people living there are high functional and don't need a lot of help. They have way more activities and better arts center (my dad likes to paint) a better fitness program, they have guest speakers, and this is huge, his current facility doesn't really have church services, but this one does.

We found out that a lot of things that were provided as part of the fee's for my Dad in his current facility (perscription drugs, people checking in, making sure medication is being properly taken and administered) can be handled using AHS free of charge services. This facility is about 5 minutes from where my mom is, so we can use senior access Calgary buses which is relatively cheap, and overall we are saving more then half of my my Dad's costs. Now I want to be clear, the current place that my Dad is saying is good, but the costs and lack of activities is key.

Also on top of it, the new facility has a support group for people with a spouse suffering from Dementia, and my Dad has agreed to participate. Which is great. So we're moving him at the end of the month.

On my Mom's side, we've been working with a AHS transition nurse on finding her a public facility. We've been told that its a long waiting list, especially since my Mom is fairly far gone, and can be fairly aggressive. So it needs to be a secure facility. We've put my mom on a list for 3 facilities close to where my Dad is going to live.

The transitional nurses are invaluable by the way. Beyond navigating the process, and they know the system, she's also guided us on government benefits that are not heavily advertised. Do you know that there is a program for spouses that are split into other facilities?

Now onto the tougher stuff. Like I said my mom is pretty far gone, when we go to visit her, she's mostly asleep. She goes through periods of extreme extreme aggression. My Dad has good visits and bad visits where he's decided to just give up on the whole thing and not see her anymore because she's so hurtful. But he's slowly starting to understand that this is dementia and not the woman he married, and that he can go back the next day and she's a different person.

With an aging population, the provincial governments are going to need to find a way to build more seniors bed. Most people can't afford to pay 10's of thousands a month for two parents to live out the end of their lives with dignity and good care.

I think that's it, I'm hoping that there is a nugget of help or advice in there somewhere.