My quick take, first hope things get better (they will)
second there is nothing wrong with taking meds, they work, it usually takes time to get the type and dose right, ask your dr if has the time and experience to work with you to get it right, if he doesn't ask him to send you to someone who knows what they're doing.
Meds work, and taking them isn't a weakness any more than me taking blood pressure meds.
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