[CaptainCrunch]

I want to actually touch on the alcohol thing, because its hugely important. Its almost the ultimate self medication tool, and that's why its so important to quit.


For me, and I don't know about anything else, but I drank to literally forget what I was going through and numb myself to it. I went far beyond the slightly drunk to drunk thing, I was never the happiest drunk around even when I was young. But I drank to that point of being numb and not caring about anything, and also because I had that belief that it would help me get much needed sleep.


But the next day reality would really crash in and I would feel worse not just for the expected hangover, but the guilt of drinking 3/4 of a bottle of Jack (Brown liquor is bad).



It got to the point where I had this f'd up notion that I was only doing this on Friday or Saturday night at home alone while watching a movie, or playing a video game or whatever, and on top of it I had this utterly f'd up notion that I was no different from my parents back in the day when they could come home on Friday after work and polish off a bottle of Rye.



Now I won't say that as I've gone through this mess and got the help that I need, that I had to completely drunk, since I decided to get off of this roller coaster of self blame and worry and loathing, I can count on one hand when I've had a beer or a glass of whine or a drink of hard liquor.



But drinking and drinking heavily is such a major warning sign that something is really wrong and you need help.