View Single Post
Old 04-26-2010, 02:38 PM   #74
dustyanddaflames
Powerplay Quarterback
 
dustyanddaflames's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kipperfan View Post
The only way you will get satisfation in dealing with a d-bag like this is to start operating on his level. On a day to day basis nice people get shat on all the time, it is the mean, nasty and cruel buggers that nobody ever wants to screws with.

I advise getting nasty ASAP. Step one, go to an auto junkyard. They will likely have a large "scrap heap" full of all metal parts that are worthles, good for nothing and free. Fill a couple of buckets up with this stuff then, at maybe 2-3 one morning, go and dump the entire pile on his doorstep with a note taped to his door: "FOR YOUR VAN".

If the douchbaggery continues after step one (or, if like me, you just simply feel another couple of steps are needed, for good measure) then you move to step two. Again at 2-3 one morning head over to the bum boy's property, this time bring a few gallons of motor oil. Pour most of it down the nearest street drain (assuming there is one reasonably close to his home) and a small amount under his garbage van. Call 3-1-1 early the next morning (works best to do the deed Sunday night, call Monday morning) and advise you wittnessed your neighbour dispose of his used motor oil down a city drain. A "neighbour" of mine once recieved this fine, it was for $2500.00 and can be as high as $10,000.00...trust me, this one will hurt.

Now, if all else fails and you need to continue, then you can always go to step 3, or as I call it, Defcon 3. Defcon 3 is pretty intense, only move to this stage if needed! Again, at 2-3 in the morning, you head over to his place. This time what you're bringing is a big container of "Round Up". Make sure to coat his entire front and (if possible) back lawn with the product as well as any trees, shrubs, bushes, flowers and any other vegetation he has growing. Within 2 weeks his entire yard will be dirt brown and the beauty of it is that it will happen slow and the dumb ass will have no idea what is happening until it is too late!!

So there you go OP, Kipperfan's home remedy for winning back your turf. Brew it carefully.
I would like to add onto Defcon 3 - wear protective gloves and clothing, the stuff in dangerous and if you don't have a chemical applicators license, you have no idea the damage you can do. Also, if the home owner comes out and confront you in the act, apply said chemical to eyes and mouth and run like hell.
dustyanddaflames is offline   Reply With Quote