For the fence issue, would it not have been handled better if you had just talked to the guy, find out how much the fence was, and then decide what to pay him? I hear the "what if it cost $5,000" argument. Well, you could have told him "sorry, because I wasn't consulted about the fence, it is way beyond my budget for a fence. I was only budgeting $1,000, so here's my half of the $500". I would think that'd be a better option than to just refuse to pay.
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